Of all the office-humor forwards that circled the world in the early 2000s, none landed quite like this one. Prison vs. Work is a simple side-by-side comparison that has been taped to a thousand break-room fridges - usually by someone who glanced over their shoulder first. Read it on your break. Or don't. We are not your supervisor.
The Classic Comparison
IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in an 8 x 10 cell.
AT WORK: You spend most of your time in a 6 x 8 cubicle.
IN PRISON: You get three meals a day (free).
AT WORK: You only get a break for one meal, and you have to pay for it yourself.
IN PRISON: You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK: You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
IN PRISON: A guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.
AT WORK: You must carry around a security card and open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON: You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK: You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON: You get your own toilet.
AT WORK: You have to share.
IN PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK: You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON: All expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required at all.
AT WORK: You pay all your own expenses to get to work, and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.
IN PRISON: You spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside, wanting to get out.
AT WORK: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
Why This One Never Dies
Like all great workplace humor, Prison vs. Work works because it is an exaggeration wrapped around a kernel of recognition. Nobody actually believes the comparison - but everybody has had a Tuesday afternoon where it felt uncomfortably plausible. The forward dates back at least to the late 1990s and, true to email-folklore form, has no confirmed author; it simply appeared in inboxes everywhere at once, like a fire drill. It belongs to the same beloved genre as our Sick Leave Policy memo and the 15 Ways to Annoy Your Co-Workers - jokes that let coworkers laugh together at the absurdities they cannot change.
Distribute to All Staff
This page is best enjoyed forwarded. Send the link to a colleague with no comment whatsoever - the silence is part of the joke. Then take your fifteen-minute break in the jokes collection or file your grievance with the fun pages department. Your performance review will reflect your participation.